I am in the middle of this sentence
The pause takes your shape
Should I be grateful to you?
For misunderstanding me
In a way that made me look
for my self ?Guilty girl in the dungeon
She was sexy She hated the fleshy outgrowths
On her body that converted friends Brothers in to pure men
His stickiness between ,Her shapely thighs
Too much human smell ,Stifled in a struggle
Was that love or hate?Was that duty or choice?
It felt like someone with insatiable hunger ate her up
If I have to teach one lesson ,It would be never love ever again
It was a seminar on whether antidepressants had to be given or not to a suicidal person. I was tricked to attend it by a teacher who wanted to prove that I was suicidal. Was I? Nope. I was beginning to see that rage was deserved by others not me. All guilt was raped out of me. This teacher wanted to prove his innocence after using a group to flood me with reminders of trauma….He colluded with a hacker and was offended by an independent thinker struggling to retrieve a buried self , quietly writing at midnight amidst violent interrogations, unaware of Trojan Horse virus in the wires. What was more violent? Explicit interrogations or implicit mind meddling? Here I was, refusing to split Dr.Jekyll and Actor Hide…..
A sea of strangers around us
Currents moving in all directions
Human communication was
like bird noise , meaningless.
I heard a song inside me all that time
Accidentally I was near you
I heard the same song
Who was making that music ?
Instruments are silent.
I read every book .
Almost became a worm .
Over the years
Many objects were stolen
except my books…
Finally I acquired common sense
in the most uncommon way ……
My sixth sense was just common sense
in uncommon circumstances.
You were too close to the truth
That I was hiding in my poems
Your scent assailing my nostrils
I presumed anything close is uncomfortable
Until I came back to my shell
It is no longer comfortable..
If a woman is a feminist
she is supposedly
A man who is a
chauvinist is he in an extremist
or is it just the norm
not defined in the dictionary ?
Or is he infected with rabies ?
causing hydrophobia ?
Beauty is just skin deep
Said a man who got under my
skin and could never go beyond……
I was blindfolded my hands were tied
I was twirled clock wise anticlock wise
Then one hand touched me Next another
Then one more Tell me who am I ?
One man was using many hands
Twirls left me imbalanced I smelt a child , but he was a grown man
Hands in glove with others The game was played against me
Sometimes suicidal threat Othertimes homicidal threat
Finally they stopped playingThere was no one
Just the stench of foul play
Could it be a father ? Could it be a brother ?
Could it be a friend ?
Hatred has more eyes
Love is blind.
How can you write poems
With no love ?
I am searching for it
with in me in every word I write
They are not like strings
of a guitar that can make music
Even if you are not loved
Did you go to him
because you loved him ?
Or because you hated me ?
Loves me or hates me ,
All the petals are gone
with out an answer.