AD was softened by the enactment of romance, all this body contact of holding hands, cheek to cheek poses for the camera, affected his body. Madhu coped with the proximity with effort, occasionally she liked the touch, but it scandalized her that she could like it, it tormented her when she did not like it. “Touch” by itself, had not much impact on her, the implications of tolerating a male touch , getting used to a stranger touching her intimately, destroyed her spirit, crumbling her self-respect. Splitting the touch from the man, treating it like the caress of a shawl, or the brush of a broom, depersonalizing a highly personal experience, destabilized her perception of human intercourse.
Was it not what sluts did? The degree of self deceit varied, but it really was the diluted, glorified, version of the same. She had a tendency to generalize lessons to similar situations, when it happened with mental operations it was useful, but her body was learning insensitivity to the tenderness, of human body contact. Precursor to the most beautiful experience of mankind, the act mothered humanity, fathered the desire to live.AD said he was not serious about any of the girls in his life, hinting at a big number. He thought a Casanova image would appeal. To him girls existed to provide pleasure to a man, it cost money. 36-26-36 was the ideal measure, clad in designer labels, color of the skin did not matter, long legs would be ideal. Any face without a cleft palate, or squinted eyes would do.The philosophy was “ cover the face and see the base”. If he and his gang flirted with a girl, she was at least a girl, if they did not she was as dull as ditch water. When they respected a girl it was usually someone their friend had decided to tie the knot with, then she became their “Bhabi”( sister-in-law). So to be a Barbie or Bhabhi that was all the choice a girl had there, it was a different universe.
So AD had no clue how to deal with Madhu. If they were to be in the same college , to him she would have been a nerd. She was a hybrid variety, sometimes, she could pass off for a bomb. If it confused the audience, how much more confused the model must be! No one sympathized with confusions, if you chose to inhabit several worlds, you could forget about a companion Members of each world thought she belonged to another. She became elusive to her own self. But AD was a decent chap, although some touches became squeezes, some hugs were meant to crush, he did not meddle her mind, so she was safe with him. He did not look for her weak spots, or target her vulnerabilities. Her flesh was not susceptible, like eating a squid, or drinking bacardi to enjoy such pleasures required a certain type of cultivation and a degree of stupidity or the need to impress the peers in a clique, Madhu lacked that initiation. Madhu was a solitary walker listening to the rhythm of an unknown drummer, who smiled at her from behind the clouds on rainy nights, no one else saw him, no one else heard him, he was her private delusion, a secret Christ, an embodiment of all her madness , and sanity , a teacher , a student who kissed her eyes safely containing her tides.